Winter Wonderland

The first leg of my holiday adventures began on a 22 hour train ride up north to Harbin, China.

The red circle is where Harbin is in the country.

Harbin has had a ton of Russian influence, and initially became a large city because Russia built a leg of the Trans-Siberian railway that went through Harbin to Vladivostok. Harbin was also occupied by the Japanese during their occupation of Manchuria, and by some accounts suffered some of the worst atrocities in Manchuria. There was a war museum outside the city, where there had been a Japanese "medical testing" facility. Unfortunately, it was closed while we were there, so we were unable to visit.

Because of their mixed history with foreign influence, we had some unsettling encounters with some of the people who lived in Harbin. Overall, I'd say there weren't really very friendly to us.

Aaron's student David is from Harbin and was our tour guide through the city. David is one of the kindest people I've ever met. He sacrificed the first four days of his own holiday break to show us around his city and make sure that we were comfortable and able to see everything we wanted to before we had to leave. It was great to have him around, and he was able to explain some things to us about why people weren't very nice. Apparently, Harbin has a pretty bad history with Russia that they're not forgetting anytime soon. David explained to us that, if we were white in Harbin, they pretty much assumed that we were Russian. Although, the few times where people realized we were American, there wasn't really a difference in the way we were treated, either.

Anyhow, despite this, our trip to Harbin was AMAZING. The city is absolutely beautiful and the snow and ice sculptures are unbelievable. The crazy arctic temperatures were definitely worth everything that I was able to see in the city.

As I mentioned at the beginning, the trip started with a 22 hour train ride from Shijiazhuang to Harbin. Since it was the beginning of the holiday break, traveling in China was difficult. China doesn't exactly do planning ahead, and you can only buy train tickets 10 days in advance. We bought our tickets the day after they went on sale, and by that time, there already weren't any sleepers available. We really, really wanted to go to Harbin, so we decided that taking an overnight train on just a seat was a truly Chinese experience, and we were going to just do it. They only had bench seats available, which means that there are no arm rests or anything in between the seats. Just a padded bench that you sit on with the other people in your row.

Another thing about Chinese trains, especially T and K trains, is that there is the option available to buy "standing" tickets. However, there isn't always a special compartment for those standers. No, no. They just take their huge bags and stand in the aisle, around the bathroom, on the counter by the sink, or anywhere else they can find a place - including your seat if you get up to use the restroom.

To fully grasp what was going through my mind on this train ride, I made a journal that I tried to update as much as possible with whatever sane or insane thoughts that were going through my brain at the time.

22 Hours on the Train Ride From Hell


11:30am: I've been on this train for all of 10 minutes and already feel like I've lost my sanity. On my side of the train, there are a bunch of college students heading home to who knows where. They are also apparently opposed to actually purchasing train tickets. When I arrived at the train, the man checking tickets actually held the crowd back for the four of us (Iraise, Lauren, Emily, and myself) while mumbling something about Harbin and mei guo ren (Americans). I don't know exactly what he was saying, but I imagine it was something that involved lots of pity and surprise. "These poor American girls have no idea what they're in for. Harbin? Oh, no." I understood once I arrived at my seat and there were three girls already shoved on the two-person bench seat that was supposed to be seating me and one other person. In a haze of disbelief that this was really my life, I weakly held my ticket out and pointed to the 113 on my ticket. My. Seat. Instead of getting up, as that would be far too logical, one girl climbed into the other girl's lap, while the third stood at the end of the table, effectively blocking my leg room. I would like to add that my train car has 118 seats and a capacity of 118 people. There are, additionally, roughly 50-60 people standing in the aisle with their luggage. These girls and the two people across from me had already covered the table with their crap - mostly candy, sunflower seeds that they will eventually spit on the floor, and an odd assortment of fluffy winter gear with cartoon characters on it. Add to this that I probably have bronchitis and need to eat something so I can take the prednisone Iraise got me from a Chinese hospital last night, and I am not a happy camper. I grumbled something about, "I paid for this seat, and I WILL USE IT." while i kicked the girl out of my way and edged my backpack and bag of food under the table, my legs on either side of it. I used this same tactic to get the writing space on the table I'm currently using, except elbows were involved.

11:45am: The girls next to me were just trying to take my picture. They are already roughly six inches from my face. China.

12:00pm: Took the first dose of my sketchily-obtained medicine. Immediately after, a group of men began smoking between the cars, about five feet away from me, and directly under the "No Smoking" sign. No one else seems to care. I can feel my lungs crying.

12:30pm: The girl in front of me seems to feel as though her status as a stander entitles her to my leg room. I've settled for instead resting my feet directly on top of hers. If she won't give me the foot room in front of my seat, she can be my footrest. I also caused a commotion when a stander behind me decided to loop her arm around the top of my seat, blocking me from being able to use my own head rest. I patted her arm, said excuse me, and then lifted it off of my seat. My. Seat. You are not my problem.

1:20pm: Currently being squeezed out of my seat as the two girls in the ONE seat next to me try (and fail) to sleep sitting on laps. I am pressing as much of my weight as possible against them just to get a corner of the table. I hope they find it annoying. I am not tired. I am also not ready to use up the battery life of my electronics. I will continue this game.

1:30pm: As they are college students and know a few words of English, I have resorted to adding grunts of "rude", "move", or "are you serious?" with my elbow jabs. Again, not my problem that you didn't buy a seat.

2:00pm: The girl across the table from me is now playing music out loud on her phone. I have resorted to earplugs.

2:45pm: First attempt at a nap = epic failure. Now, the girl next to me started playing what is quite possibly the worst song in the world, on blast, from her cell phone, right next to my ear. Trying to decide on an equally annoying and obnoxious activity that I can engage in; strongly considering playing "Big Pimpin" out loud on my iPad. I think one of them can possibly read my mind, she got them to stop right before I reached my breaking point. That, or she understands the word fuck.

3:00pm: Prednisone is working. This is the best my lungs have felt since early November.

4:00pm: I don't think anyone in China knows how to chew with their mouth closed.

4:05pm: This train is staging a competition for who can be the most obnoxious individual. That's the only explanation that makes sense.

4:15pm: Used a squatter on a movie train. Wearing a surgical mask was necessary. A small part of me wants to push the two girls next to me off the moving train. They seem to think that they can sit partly in my seat.

4:20pm: The girl standing in the aisle is wearing a shirt that says, "Barack Obamd: skyline Friendly organizations in Peace." Ladies and Gentlemen, meet our new president, Barack Obamd.

4:21pm: Someone is playing a recorder.

4:22pm: What's that old torture device called where they tie each of your limbs to a different horse and then all four run in a different direction? Something and quartered. Drawn and quartered. I'm not entirely convinced that it would be inhumane to draw and quarter the inventor of the QQ instant message noise or the man currently playing music on a loudspeaker in the car of my train. I want to go boil water for my instant noodles. Not sure what will happen to my seat if I move. Still holding out on using electronics. Will need them for the last leg of the journey. Even earplugs won't drown out the sound of the girl next to me eating a meat stick.

5:40pm: Still playing music on his loudspeaker, except now there is singing. Including the girls next to me. It sounds like some sort of nationalistic war fight song recorded over the music for Celine Dion's song for The Titanic.

5:45pm: There is a man across from Lauren who has consumed an entire grocery bag full of pre-packaged chicken feet. He's currently passed out on the table. I don't know how he can eat all of that and not die.

6:30pm: The two standers have left, FINALLY, leaving me with only one other person on my two-person bench. Great success!

6:50pm: The train has cleared! There are now only about 10-20 standers. We are less oxygen-deprived now. Dinner time!

2:40am: I've surprisingly been sleeping on and off since roughly 8:30pm. I must sleep in two hour shifts. Have to stand up and walk around because my butt, back, and spine hurt so bad. Someone behind me is gnawing on a full melon. The only way sleep is possible is in my wolf hat and earplugs. I feel homeless.

5:30am: Everyone around me is eating instant noodle bowls for breakfast.

5:50am: The music has started again. The concept of courtesy doesn't exist here.

8:00am: Woke up. Starving. Nothing edible on this train. All I have left is a noodle bowl. My body is anti-sodium right now. I need water. Where is the annoying water cart man who came around every hour on the hour except when I need him?

8:10am: Surprised at how well I maintained my sanity on this train. Just a little under two hours left and I haven't used any electronics, despite bringing my laptop, iPad, and iPod. Lauren and I started shutting the door on the chain smokers. It really doesn't help much. I want to take my prednisone, but I need food. People took pictures of me sleeping. And eating. And blowing my nose.

9:05am: Arrival in Harbin!! 40 minutes early.

AND, here are the pictures: http://meredithinchina.shutterfly.com/pictures/573

Christmas in China

Finally, the posts about the holidays can begin!

Christmas and the Christmas season were pretty hard for me to spend away from friends and family. Being surrounded by it my whole life, I didn't realize how much I missed things like hearing Christmas music around town or seeing Christmas decorations out in stores.

The whole month of December was really difficult to spend away from family, and I tried to ration my Facebook time so I wasn't constantly bombarded by people posting about wrapping gifts or drinking Starbucks Christmas specials. I hit a low point when I obsessively downloaded Christmas music and made my kids listen to it at the end of class with me. But, hey, I'll own it. (They hated it, by the way.)

It was especially hard to see everyone posting about finishing finals and going home for the holidays when we still had three weeks of teaching to go until our break. I didn't realize how wired my brain was to be "done" when the semester was done. We were pretty burnt out at the end of the semester. It didn't help that Mr. Dong initially wasn't going to give us the day after Christmas off, but expected us to perform in a city-wide banquet for the school.

The "performance" started this way: First, Mr. Dong told us that the school wanted to invite us to a Christmas celebration banquet. Of course, we said we would love to go. Then, the next week, he told us that we would be doing a "small performance". We still were under the assumption that this was just a banquet that the school was putting on for us. We were a little put out that they basically just wanted us to put on a show for them, but whatever. We figured we'd just throw together a little song and dance a few days before and we'd be fine. Two weeks passed and no one mentioned it to us. Then, we're informed that it would be a banquet for the whole city, and all of the foreign teachers would be there and would be performing. A few days later, we were harassed by Miss Li, who asked us to come practice our performance in one of the auditoriums. We found the American students there, who had been taken out of their Chinese language classes to learn a dance to perform at the banquet.

I ended up not going to the banquet and performance because Russell was in town. I didn't want to leave him alone, and Mr. Dong didn't get him a ticket. At the banquet, the American and Thai students were forced to come and perform, but not allowed to stay and eat at the banquet. The teachers had to do their song and dance to "Jingle Bell Rock" twice because Miss Li decided that the first time wasn't adequate.

Russell and I had to go to a dinner with Mr. Fu and Iraise's parents and cousin. Mr. Fu made that dinner probably the most awkward experience of my life.

---

Russell got to China on December 19th, which was perfect timing. I don't think I would have made it through the holidays without a guest here to keep my mind off of being away from my family. Although I'm 23, this is by far the longest I've gone without seeing any member of my family - extended family and cousins included. I know that I've always taken my close-knit family for granted, but it really took moving to China to realize the work that my parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents put into keeping us together. It's hard for me to imagine a life without having all of them around me, and I will continue to Facebook stalk all members of my family until I return home. (Sorry I'm not sorry, guys.)

The day that Russell got to Beijing was a Monday. I took a personal day and booked myself a train ticket to the city in the morning and two tickets on a later train back for us. The plan was for us to be back teaching on Tuesday morning since his plane got in at 4. However, Russell's plane ended up being delayed until 8pm, which was about 5 minutes before our train was supposed to leave.

After numerous frantic phone calls and text messages to Mr. Dong, in addition to both Emily and Lauren asking him to pick up his phone or call me back, I realized that he was in no way going to assist me. Thankfully, I had the phone number to the Happy Dragon Hostel, which has been my saving grace in this country. I have never encountered anyone so helpful and friendly anywhere in my life. They were able to immediately book me a room and return tickets for the following day.

We stayed in Beijing for the night and left for Shijiazhuang that afternoon, after spending the earlier part of the day exploring Tian'anmen Square, the National Museum, and my favorite bouza restaurant nearby. Russell got a wonderful tutorial on how to use chopsticks from the owner of the restaurant, which was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. His skill did improve greatly over the next two and a half weeks, though.

After fighting through the usual crowd to take the train, the first thing he said upon his arrival in Shijiazhuang was, "Oh my God, it smells terrible here." It was a particularly smelly night, but I thought it was an adequate introduction to my life in China.

He spent the rest of that week and the following week attending classes with me. My only lesson plan for most of that time was, "Ask the American some questions!!" We had practiced forming questions the week before and I was really excited to hear the hilarious things they came up with. I had been warning them for a few weeks that I was going to have a guest, because I knew they would go crazy as soon as he walked in the classroom. We had also discussed questions that were not appropriate to ask someone you just met, but that was a lesson that did not sink in.

Here are some gems of things that Russell was asked/told:

- Sir, why are you so tall? Will I grow to be tall like you?
- How big are your feet? (It took us a full ten minutes to calm the class down after he took off a shoe and held it up for size.)
- Why do you have a beard? (They were obsessed with the fact that he had facial hair. They even created a sign where they hold their hands up under their chin to signify a beard.)
- Do you like the Japanese?
- Did you bring your gun to China? Do you own a gun in America?
- Give me five dollars.
- I will give you seven yuan for one dollar.

And my favorite: 

- Do you think you are handsome? I think you are handsome. That means you are a Jew.

I clearly failed at remembering the other funny things they said. Sorry.

After spending Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday in the Shiz, we headed back to Beijing on Friday night to spend the weekend in Beijing. Mr. Dong had finally agreed to let us have Monday off since it was the day after Christmas.

We stayed at the Happy Dragon Courtyard, which is the sister hostel of the Happy Dragon. I'd definitely recommend both of them, because the staff is amazing. The Courtyard was just a little too cold for the winter, since the rooms are set up around a courtyard, so directly against the wind and cold. In the spring or summer, though, I'm sure it would be beautiful.

Anyway, we ended up booking a tour through Happy Dragon instead of having to deal with the subway, buses, and gypsy cabs. When we got up in the morning and boarded the bus, we were actually on the same tour as Byron, Emily, Tyler, and Tyler's family.

Once we got to the wall, we both decided immediately that we would take the toboggans down the Great Wall. There really was no other way to do it. As soon as we got the go-ahead from our tour guide to head out, we booked it to the ski lift to head up.

We went to the same part of the wall I'd been to previously, Mutianyu, because it's beautiful, and supposed to not have as many tours as some of the other parts. We headed to the right once we got up to the wall. That section has a shorter part that's open for tourists, but the unrestored part continues out pretty far.

We walked the part that was open to tourists pretty quickly, even with lots of stops for pictures. Since we got there so early, and because it was December, there were only about five other people with us on that section of the wall. It seemed like everyone else on our tour decided to go to the left. Better for us! Of course, we decided to keep walking to the unrestored part of the wall, and made it to the first guard tower. There was a man there from Germany taking pictures to enter in a contest and two girls from Russia there. We all took turns taking pictures for each other. Then the guy took some pictures of Russell looking out over the mountains, when he wasn't looking. Who knows, maybe he'll end up in some sort of photo contest. Haha.

After stopping there, we kept going to the next guard tower, which was the last part I made it to with Lauren, Emily, Matt, and Dan. We were the only people out on that part of the wall, which was really awesome. I also found all of the places where we had written our names on the wall from the first time we climbed it.

We could have kept hiking to the next tower, but decided to head back since we wanted to make sure we made it back in time to make it to the group lunch. And, of course, we had to take the toboggans down! Unfortunately, we got stuck behind a girl who was scared and went super slow. We kept stopping on the corners to let her get a head start so we could zoom ahead for awhile. Once we got to the bottom, we got Russell his awesome fuzzy Mao hat and I bought my big furry hat.

After lunch, we headed back to the hostel. We had enough time to get ready and then headed out to a Kung-Fu show tour. There was popcorn and Diet Coke at the theater, so I was quite happy with finding those things on Christmas Eve. The show itself was alright. It started off pretty slow, but at the end they broke stuff over their heads, so that was pretty cool.

We spent Christmas walking through the Forbidden City. The Forbidden City was huge, and really cool. I'm glad we went, but it was kind of like Tian'anmen Square for me. I'd heard all this hype about it, but I wasn't as impressed as I thought I was going to be. Of course, I'm still really glad I went and it was absolutely beautiful. After the Forbidden City, we had a few hours to kill, so we saw on the subway map that there was a military museum in town. We decided to check it out and see what it was like since the National Museum had been such an interesting experience. (For those who haven't been, the National Museum completely leaves out the Great Leap Forward and the Cultural Revolution. Oh, and China is a "democracy with Chinese characteristics".) We were not disappointed with the military museum. Most of it was under construction, so there was only one floor open at the time, but it was the floor that was dedicated to the Japanese occupation - which wasn't surprising. We ended up spending a few hours there reading the descriptions of the displays. We stayed until closing before we headed back to the hostel.

We decided that our Christmas dinner was going to be Peking Duck, since we were in Beijing. I hadn't had the famous specialty yet, so I was pretty excited. We looked up a few restaurants online and then went to ask the front desk what their recommendation was. We got directions from the girl working for what subway stops to take, but when we got there, we realized that we had no idea where she was attempting to direct us. After spending about a half hour wandering up and down the street with no luck, we just decided to go into the nicest looking place on the street. It was definitely Christmas luck, because it was probably the most delicious meal I've had since getting to China. We ordered a duck and a side dish, and they came and cut up the duck at our table. Between the two of us, we finished off the entire duck. It was beyond delicious.

The last thing we did for Christmas was head to Wangfujing Street to eat some crazy things from the street vendors. I knew this was the one place in Beijing that I needed to take Russell before he left. At our first stop, we got a skewer of scorpions, a skewer of seahorses, a skewer of snake, and a starfish. The guy tried to rip me off and charge me 100 kuai. False. I bargained him down. We bought some water from another vendor and stood in the alleyway to try our crazy purchases. I was the first one to go, since I had finally mustered up the courage to do what I said I wanted to do in China - eat a scorpion. I was prepared with the scorpions in one hand and an open bottle of water in the other. Thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised. They were delicious. I think most of it was the seasoning they were in. I've had bugs before - locusts and grasshoppers - and they have about the same crunchy consistency. Next, we tried the snake. We both agreed that it was delicious as well. It just tasted like regular meat, with the really good seasoning. The seahorses and starfish were another story completely. They were awful. They just tasted really nasty and fishy. We polished off two bottles of water trying to get the taste out of our mouths. Then, we continued on. The next things we bought were silkworms, locusts, and sparrows. The street was closing then, so we got two more waters and walked down to the main road to eat the last of our crazy foods. The silkworms were the first we tried. They were pretty bad. They were really mushy and a very odd consistency. The grand finale was the sparrows. We were standing by a trash can getting ready to eat them when this lady and her daughter came up to ask us for money. They weren't beggars though; they had shopping bags with them. We ignored them and I took the first bite of the sparrow. I don't know what I was thinking when I did it, but I just bit the head off. Yes, just the head. The brains immediately exploded into my mouth and I couldn't handle it. I spat it out on the ground as fast as I could and started chugging water while I shoved the stick of sparrows at Russell. I don't think I can express in words how disgusting that experience was for me. The lady was still watching when Russell, being a champ, still tried the sparrow after my terrible experience. Unfortunately for him, a bone got stuck in the back of his throat and he choked on what he had eaten and had to spit it out. The lady and her daughter were still there. After watching the whole thing, I decided to just give them the sparrow and locusts, since that was clearly what they were after...and we were clearly done for the night.

The next day was our last day in Beijing and we had a late train booked back to Shijiazhuang. We spent the day walking through the Temple of Heaven and we went to the Olympic Park before heading back.

When we got back to school, we taught Tuesday through Saturday morning, since Saturday was New Years Eve. Then, we had Monday and Tuesday off for the holiday. Since Russell was leaving on Wednesday, we decided to go to Xi'an for the weekend to see the Terra Cotta Warriors. We took an overnight soft sleeper train to Xi'an on the night of New Years Eve. That kind of sucked, but it was worth it to get to Xi'an.

Our train itself was perfectly fine. We had soft sleepers, so we were in a cabin with two other people - four bunks total. The two roommates just slept the whole time. We stayed up long enough to see the New Year before trying to get some sleep. The cabin was HOT, though. At least 80 degrees or hotter. It was pretty uncomfortable, but we got some sleep. We got into Xi'an around 9am and headed to the hostel. The hostel was pretty nice. Our room was like a hotel room, and they came in and cleaned it for us. We booked a tour to see the warriors the next day, got a map of the city from the front desk, and went exploring.

Xi'an is amazing. It's so beautiful. It's either the only city or one of the only cities in China that still has most of its city wall left standing, and it's super easy to get around just walking. We walked all over the city that day. We saw the Bell Tower and Drum Tower, and walked through the Muslim Quarter. We did some shopping and then headed to the old mosque that's still left in the city. It was really pretty to walk through. After that, we did a little more looking around in the shops and walked around the city.

We also stopped at one of the hilarious costume shops that they have set up everywhere around China. For only $5 we could dress up in these elaborate "emperor" costumes and get our picture taken. Of course, we couldn't pass up the opportunity. Russell wore a hilarious gold emperor outfit that was way too short on him, and shoes that they had to leave unzipped in the back because his feet were too big. I had to wear a dress and this huge, elaborate headdress. We had to sit on this throne and do about five or six poses before we chose the picture we wanted. It was awesome.

The next morning we got up really early to meet our tour to the warriors. We had the most hilarious tour guide. Her name was Zha Zha and she was obsessed with British boys, as she told us. Luckily for her, there were two British boys on our trip, and she followed one of them, Chris, everywhere. We always knew where she was because we could hear her yelling, "Chris! Chris! Where are you?! Chris!!" At the end of the tour she bought him a small replica set of the Terra Cotta Warriors to remember her by.

The warriors were really neat to see. We walked through three different "pits" where they were discovered. The story of how they were found was really interesting. It was pure luck that the first warrior found was the only one that has been found fully intact.

After the tour, we had lunch nearby. We were with a family from America, Chris, an Italian guy, and a family of two Italian women and a younger girl. I think Russell and I were the only ones who didn't complain about the meal. The Italian women used the tea to re-clean all of their dishes and chopsticks by pouring the boiling water over them. I just sat and drank my cup of tea while I watched everyone else at our table trying to sterilize their utensils with hot water.

When we got back to the city, we went to the city wall. You could go up on the wall and walk around the entire city. We only had a few hours before it closed for the night, but we walked along the entire North and West portions before heading out. After walking around the city, we walked back through the Muslim Quarter because one of my head teachers had told us that they had some of the best lamb dishes in the city. We walked and tried a bunch of different skewers and things from the street vendors before heading back for the night. We flew back to Beijing the next day.

It was really hard to say goodbye to him, knowing that I still had another five months left for my time in China. But I'm really thankful that Russell came to China during the holidays, because I probably would have had a complete emotional breakdown if I didn't have someone here to keep my mind off of missing my family.

I got to Skype with both sides of the family when they were together for Christmas Eve and Christmas, but it was really hard to see everyone together while I wasn't there. It was really hard not to cry when I was talking to everyone because I miss them all so much. I can't believe how incredibly lucky I've been my whole life to have so many important people so close to me all of the time. It made me realize how much I can't wait to get home and see them. I miss being able to just stop by my grandparents house to just sit and talk. I miss a lot of things about being home, and I never thought that I would say that I miss Iowa this much.


Congratulations! You made it all the way through. Now here are some pictures: http://meredithinchina.shutterfly.com/

(Note: I haven't had time or an adequate internet connection to actually update the website. But at least the pictures are there.)

Six Months in China

Sorry to everyone who has been actually reading my blog - I know I haven't posted in a long time. Something happened where my blog got hacked or something and all of the controls were in Chinese...so I couldn't really do anything because I didn't know which link actually said "new post".

Anyhow, here we are, into the second semester of teaching. I've officially been in China for six months. Sometimes it feels as though that time has flown by; other times, it feels like I've already been here for two years.

My blog is also no longer letting me upload pictures for reasons I don't understand. Probably how slow the internet is. I am very, very, very slowly uploading all of my pictures to Shutterfly and when I post about Russell being here, Harbin, and my trip with my parents, I'll include those links.

But right now, I have some other things to talk about. Mainly, how terrifying my building is to live in. Probably not what anyone wants to read about, but I need some sort of outlet to complain. Here we go.

First, we had a fire in December. Russell and I were on the train coming back from Beijing when it happened, so we got there after they put it out. During this time, they were doing a lot of demo on our street, to build what is quite possibly the ugliest wall ever. To do this, they took a bulldozer and rammed it into things until they fell down. This included structures that were attached to the apartment. Ram them until they break off. Instead of immediately removing the rubble surrounding our building, they just piled it up and left it. As this is China, people immediately saw the opportunity to use these piles of old bricks as dumpsters. They left all sorts of things in these piles - trash, old clothes, old appliances, big sheets of plastic. You name it, it was probably there. The men on our street also don't stomp out their cigarettes when they flick them on the ground. They just leave them there to smolder. What we think happened is that there was someone rummaging around in these piles, either to leave trash or to see if he could salvage something out of it, and he flicked his lit cigarette onto the pile. It ignited something, probably the clothes and towels, and it started a fire against our building. Emily, luckily, saw that there were flames against her window and got outside. They quickly found out that, though the school had supplied three fire extinguishers to our building, only one of them worked. The other two were expired. The Thai students (who are about 16 years old) had to stomp out the fire with blankets and their feet while the building monitors stood by and watched. (Note: the laziest person in the world award goes to these women. More on that later.)

During all of this, Mr. Dong had been informed. At no point during this fire did he or any of the THREE building monitors decide that it was a good idea to call the fire department. Afterward, when Lauren told him that we needed new fire extinguishers, he told her, "It was just an incident. It is over now."

Fast forward to now, February. The state of our building is this: still no fire extinguishers. Also, the "auntie" who monitors our building deadbolts us in at night.

This Sunday night, we had all of the electricity go out in our building around 11pm. Naturally, we were terrified, because it was ONLY our building. All the other buildings on the street still had electricity. When we found the building monitor who speaks English and told her she needed to do something about the situation, she informed us that the school had forgotten to pay the electricity bill and it wouldn't be fixed until the next morning. Oh, and did I mention that the breaker box was sending out sparks during this whole conversation? She apparently thought this was completely normal and went back to bed.

We called Mr. Dong and told him what happened, but he said it wouldn't be fixed until the next morning. We told him that we would not be teaching the next morning, as we didn't feel comfortable going to sleep in a building with a breaker box that was shooting out sparks when we didn't have any fire extinguishers. After no response from him, we figured that he was okay with us missing our morning classes.

We were wrong, of course. We got to our meeting on Monday only to be mocked for being concerned about a potential fire and told that we would be counted as absent for our classes - even though he had told our teachers that he was counting it as a sick day for us. What that means is that, if he chooses, he can dock us pay for that class.

He then told us that there was "nothing unusual" about the situation and we shouldn't have been worried.

Right. Absolutely nothing unusual about the school forgetting to pay the electricity bill and a breaker box shooting out sparks. Completely safe.

Then, Thursday, there was some sort of festival. That, of course, meant that people were shooting off fireworks from roughly 7am all through the night, until about 1am. That wouldn't be a problem, except around 11pm, the fireworks were close enough that they started hitting our building. I heard things hitting my bedroom window and wall. I looked out the window to see fiery debris hitting my bedroom window. Add to this that there are tons of frayed electrical wires wrapped around the bars on my window.

We went up to get the auntie and the other building monitors to tell them that they should go outside and tell the men to stop shooting off fireworks so close to our building. They didn't. So we told them that we needed to get new fire extinguishers because it was terribly unsafe.

Their response?

I quote, "No, the school said we do not need fire extinguishers. It is okay. There are policemen around."

Yes. The police and firemen that you DO NOT CALL, EVEN WHEN THERE IS A FIRE.

I have spent pretty much every night this week staying up and watching movies until I'm so exhausted that I can't help but fall asleep. I'm to terrified to go to sleep any other way.

At least the real reason why the school hasn't given us new fire extinguishers over the past two months was finally revealed.

Some funny tid-bits from my students

I'm not quite ready to dive into discussing my feelings toward the holidays yet. So, instead, I'm going to leave you with some hilarious gems that I've collected from my students.

I'm hopefully going to be doing a pen-pal exchange with Colleen and her kiddos in Iowa, but I knew that it wouldn't work to just ask for a pen-pal letter from my kids and expect the first draft to be workable. We did a first draft, which I read, edited, and returned, and I'm working on reading the second draft they gave me right now. What I got during the first round was definitely not what I was expecting. Enjoy..


"Pipi is a boy. He is very dangerous. We want to she is a pig. Pipi can bao all students in classroom. Pipi likes eating chicken and baobi." I'm not sure if they didn't understand the assignment, or if they were trying to use the lesson on personal descriptions we did the week before. Either way.. WHAT?


"I think that China will be the strongest country in the world and America will be second. How do you think of China?" Jumping right into the politics, eh?


"Do you like China? Do you like dumplings? I love read books." China = dumplings.


"I have a good family. I am from China. I'm very tall and a little heavy." Describing yourself or others as 'fat' is acceptable in China.


"How are you? These days I never talk to you on the computer, because I'm really busy. I'm sorry that I can't visit you this week, though I want to go to America." We've never met, but sorry I didn't e-mail you.


"In three months, can you get to China and play with me?" I demand that you travel to China.


"Pipi is one of my classmates. He is very dangerous. He can bao all of my classmates." I think Pipi and I need to have a conversation.


"BaoBao is a boy. He is dangerous. We want eat breakfast, sleep, and daPipi. I love my classmate. I love he. I love she. I love all student." Again with Pipi.


"My name is Mr. W and I will tell you something. First, my father is the first rich man of the world (Not really!!) My mother is a nurse. And my father is very handsome, my mother is very beautiful. My school ID card is 10C1931. You know, I have many friends, for example: Mr. Zhou Libo, Mr. Pig." Yes, my good pal, the pig.


"There are three people in my family, my mother, my father, and me. We live in a big department store." She was very adamant that she didn't mean an apartment building.


"My name is Lilian. I live in Canda." I don't know.


"I like Japanese manga. But I don't like Japan." Good to know where we stand on that one.


"Do you like comedy? Chinese comedy is very exciting. And China has many strong men. They have many muscles." Yes, I immediately associate comedy with strong men as well..


"In the future, I will be a policewoman. I don't like thieves." Future goals.


"My favorite animal is a pig, because pigs are very fat and clever." Mr. Dong explained to us earlier this semester that pigs are associated with cleverness in China, much like owls are called wise in the US. He was shocked when we said that pigs are usually associated with uncleanliness in the US - aka, do you live in a pigsty?

My first REAL Thanksgiving

True, from first glance, it seems as though my Thanksgiving in China is about the furthest thing from a real Thanksgiving you could imagine. I thought that, too, for most of the day. But, when it really comes down to the meaning of the holiday - being thankful for what you have - when else have I felt the full force of emotion?

Most of the time, I cart myself to two family Thanksgivings. We eat, talk, do crafts, etc. But do I really reflect on what I'm thankful for that year? No, not really. It's the same routine, every year, and it has been for pretty much my whole life. About the biggest change I've ever had is what house we're going to be at. Then, this year, I find myself in China, which is about the closest to an alternate universe I'll ever be.

But, when is a better time to reflect on what I'm thankful for at home than a time when I'm deprived of so many of the comforts of home that I took for granted in the past? That's not to say that I didn't know I lived a privileged life..but there are quite a few things that I've learned from living in China that make me realize how much we have in America that so many other people don't.

No, I didn't have turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, or pumpkin pie today. Those will come on Saturday, in Beijing, in what will probably be the most appreciated Thanksgiving meal of my life. Today, I had Chinese food at the restaurant down the street. I ate in a scarf and my winter coat, because they don't have any heat...they just have the best food on the block. I drank wine and ate dark chocolate while watching a movie with the girls that I probably wouldn't survive China without.

I've had some time today to reflect on what I'm thankful for. (In no special order).

1. My family. My family has always been a given in my life. Growing up, my closest friends and playmates were my cousins. I saw my aunts, uncles and grandparents multiple times a month. We have family dinners often, and get together for birthdays. Everyone is in Ankeny, or at least close enough to jump in my car and head their way whenever I feel like it. Everyone is within reach. I think the longest I've ever gone in my life without seeing my grandparents is maybe six weeks, and that was probably only when grandma and grandpa Lamberti were in Arizona in the winter. Even then, we almost always had a family dinner of some sort pretty soon after they got back. It's been three, almost four, months now that I haven't seen anyone in person. Both sides of my family lost someone this past year...but I think what speaks the most about our losses is that we were always there for each other. Strength comes from knowing that it's okay to share both laughter and tears, and knowing that everyone around you understands.

2. The Internet. Or, rather, the age of communication. I haven't been able to see any of my family or friends in person, but I have the internet. I have Skype and Facebook and e-mail, and many other forms of communicating with the people I care about back home. As I know from my failed attempt at mailing letters back home, it takes a month or more for mail to reach the USA from China. (Hey, remember all those jokes you've heard about American postal workers being lazy?? China takes the cake...) I can say, without a doubt, that I wouldn't make it the full semester, let alone the year, if I were doing this in the era of snail mail. I want instant results and communication. Save for the time difference, pretty much everything is at my fingertips... Well, except when the internet goes out in our building.

3. No internet blocks! Not here, of course. But realizing that I needed to jump through all these extra hoops of finding a VPN just to access the websites I used on a daily basis really hits home being here in China. It makes me realize just how much information I have access to at home, pretty much whenever and wherever I want it. Have a question? Pull up Google on your smartphone. Boom! Answered. I've gotten so used to having pretty much any information I want at my fingertips that it's really saddening to think of a government denying people something that seems so...common.

4. Water. I knew coming there that the water situation would be quite different than what I'm used to at home. There have still be a few shocks, however. I already knew that I wouldn't be able to drink the tap water here. It's pretty much a given that I can't drink tap water anywhere outside of the US and Western Europe. The water machine that I was given is great. The only problem is that I have to go through Mr. Dong to get it, and he seems to be under the impression that we drink too much water. I ask for a new water thing roughly once a week, which costs 8 kuai. That's a little more than a dollar, so it's not like I'm spending a ridiculous amount of money. Here's the deal, though. Mr. Dong used to be really terrible about actually calling and getting water delivered to us. We'd go two or three weeks having to scrape by with just buying water bottles from the bodega next door. The next meeting, we decided to ask for two of the Culligan things so we wouldn't have to bother him so much. It seemed like a good solution. Instead, he called us selfish for wanting so much water. I'm sorry, sir, for wanting access to basic drinking water that I'm paying for. He's much better about it now, but it still rubs me the wrong way that I was called selfish for wanting water. WATER! It makes me realize how good we have it back home, where I can just grab a glass and turn on the sink if I'm thirsty.. I don't have to worry about either finding purified water or boiling it first before I drink it. I'm also thankful for hot tap water, which isn't a thing here. All water from the sink is cold. Ice cold. Which doesn't really seem like a big deal during the summer, until either a) it's winter, your apartment doesn't have heat, and you need to wash your hands; or, b) you think about the fact that there are literally a billion people running around who haven't properly de-germed themselves with hot water and soap after doing things that we don't need to talk about in this blog. Hand sanitizer is your best friend. I'm probably going to spend an embarrassing amount of time in the Chicago airport bathroom, just running my hands under warm water. 'Merica.

5. Toilets. I am so, so, so thankful for American toilets. I will never turn my nose up at a gas station restroom again in my life. Okay, okay. I've used squatter toilets before. They had them in Uganda. That's not even the beginning. Squatters on a train? Who was the genius who thought of that? Moving on from squatter toilets, I'm thankful that toilets in America flush. You don't know deprivation until you can't flush toilet paper in your own home. When the news was abuzz with all the talk of the 7 billion people mark, I showed my senior class a video from National Geographic that highlighted a bunch of things about world population. One of the things it talked about was how a large percentage of the world doesn't have access to water or adequate plumbing. That's China. If I would have watched that video at home, I would have been struck by how sad of a fact that is.. but now I'm living it. Thankfully, only until June. That's something else I'm thankful for. Even when I do complain, I get to leave in June, and go back home.

6. Politics. That's a weird thing to be thankful for, right? And, I'm pretty sure no one else in America has politics on their Things I'm Thankful For list, even politicians. Everyone is sick of campaign ads and debates... except me. I'm missing out on the Iowa Caucus, and that really sucks. I'm also going to be missing the Iowa Capitol come January, and that sucks even more. Because, really, as much as everyone complained about the legislature stalling this year (me included), I love that we have the ability to do it. I love that we have two parties who have the right to disagree with each other, and stall, and offer alternatives, and fight, and whine to the press, and make stupid little pins that say things like "Stop Gronstalling" or have weird pictures of Paul McKinley that make him look a little bit like Albert Einstein. Because, what's the alternative? No voice? No dissent? No fighting? No, thanks.

7. Going hand in hand with that, I'm thankful for my rights as an American. I miss rights and feeling like I have freedom.

8. I'm thankful that, save for a few weirdos at the bar, no strangers in America take my picture or attempt to hand me their baby. Seriously, I'm a freak show in China for no reason other than the fact that I'm white. It's pretty much impossible to go anywhere without having someone take your picture, take their picture with you, hand you their child for a picture, scream hello at you, literally stop and point at you, stand behind you and repeat everything you say, etc., etc. I'm thankful that, for the most part, people in America think it's pretty rude to do these things to people just because they look different than them.

9. I'm thankful for the unexpected surprises. I was having a pretty rough morning/early afternoon, missing home and missing things like crossword puzzles and nail polish and all the stupid little comforts of home that you don't realize are a big deal until you just flat don't have them. Then, I got to my last class of the day, my Junior 1s. They remembered from last week that I told them we would be talking about Thanksgiving today, and when I walked in, they all immediately stood up and yelled, "Happy Thanksgiving, Miss Mary!!" to me. Two girls came up and gave me hand-made Thanksgiving cards with drawings of turkeys and pumpkins. Small things like that make you stop wallowing in self-pity and actually smile. Other funny things this class did: one boy was so excited over the pictures of Thanksgiving food that he started rocking himself back and forth while repeating the words, "so delicious". Also, in Chinese, 'ta' can me he/she/it, and a lot of beginners get those mixed up sometimes. Upon seeing the Thanksgiving food, many of the kids wanted to express to me how delicious they thought the food looked. Mostly, this took the form of people shouting out, "Delicious!" or, "Tasty!" until one boy attempted to form a full sentence -- "I want to eat her!!"

10. Heat. I have never known a winter without heat, until now. I spent roughly three weeks freezing in my apartment until "the government" turned the heat on, on November 15th. The heat will be shut off by "the government" on March 15th. I'm thankful that, at home, we have the decision of when we want to turn our heat on or off, and what temperature we want to set it. (Although, dad, if you're reading this, we don't live in the tundra. We could bump the heat up a few notches next year.) But, this also boils down to the fact that I'm thankful that the government kind of butts out of my everyday life. There are so many questions in China that are just met with the response, "The government says". It's maddening.

Happy Thanksgiving! Eat an extra slice of pumpkin pie for me. :)

Three months in China

This week is the 3rd month mark for how long I've been living in China.


I wasn't really going to blog about it. Nothing super significant has happened, besides our visit to Mr. Fu's hometown, which I'm going to add in a few days. However, we got an e-mail from Kirk this morning that I thought fit perfectly.


Here's the link: Culture Shock in case you want to read it in full by yourself. I'm adding it because there are parts from this website that I feel like I could have written myself. It was as though the author read my mind.


This website was perfect because it is about culture shock specific to China.

"A great deal has been written about the nature of the culture shock experienced, to varying degrees, by all foreigners in China. Essentially, just about everything is different: currency, food, available merchandise, mores and ethics, social customs and traditions, personal hygiene, medical care and family life, not to mention the physical and natural environment, to name but the major ones."

Embarrassingly, I went into my year in China with the belief that I wouldn't really feel much culture shock. This was in part because I don't feel like I've ever really experienced severe culture shock when I've traveled. That isn't to say that I didn't think there would be differences. That would be stupid. Of course I knew there would be differences. In the past, though, I've always been able to see all of the similarities between my culture and the culture of the place I'm visiting. I was naive in the sense that I figured if I could go to Uganda and not feel a huge amount of culture shock, how bad could China be?

It also didn't help that pretty much everyone I know who has visited China has only been to Beijing. Maybe Hong Kong, and a few Taiwan, if that even counts. Cool. That's like coming to visit the US, only going to New York or Los Angeles, and telling me that you know all about American culture. I wonder how your trip would be different if you were dropped in the middle of, oh, I don't know.. Mississippi?

I'm not saying this to discount the people who have spent extended amounts of time in those cities in China; of course, any amount of time spent abroad is difficult. What I'm trying to say is that their experiences didn't really prepare me for my experience in Shijiazhuang. What I wasn't ready for was this: Essentially, just about everything is different. I really didn't expect that. Everything? Come on.

No, really. Everything.

The website also talks about the four stages of culture shock in China, which I'm going to highlight parts of..

1. Excitement or Honeymoon

"When you first arrive in China, you will very likely experience an exhilarating sense of excitement and adventure. You will think to yourself "I can't believe I'm finally in China," and you will be fascinated and overwhelmingly impressed by all the "exotic" differences in culture you will encounter."

Very true. And, I think this is true of almost any place you would travel. It is for me, at least. There's a total sense of excitement and an adrenaline rush just from getting the chance to be somewhere new, somewhere different. I got such a rush just from saying, "I'm living in China." Living in China. Wow. Who does that?

2. Withdrawal or Negotiation

"Usually, within a month or so, that sense of excitement will eventually give way to new and unpleasant feelings of frustration and anger as you continue to have unfavorable encounters that strike you as strange, offensive, and unacceptable. These reactions, for most Westerners, are typically centered around the formidable language barrier as well as stark differences in: public hygiene; traffic safety; the type and quality of the food; the unavailability of creature comforts; poor, grossly unreliable, or nonexistent customer service; the manner in which agreements and contracts are disregarded or continuously changed and, related; the feeling that one is constantly being cheated or lied to."

I think we can all recognize that I fully reached this stage when I had my issues with customs. I had a terrible time trying to wrap my mind around the idea that the rules could be changed seemingly on the whim of the "Chinese government" or customs agents. I understand that there are sometimes taxes on packages shipped because of weight or something similar. In talking to other Drake students who have received packages and been asked to pay taxes, however, it doesn't seem as though there is really a system to decide how much or what packages to tax. My first package? I was asked to pay taxes, then didn't have to. My second package? Weighed much more than the first, no mention of taxes. Sarah got a package that was smaller than both of mine, but had to pay a fee that was much larger than I've ever been asked to pay. No system. I also had problems because Chinese customs was trying to tell me that I had too many personal items in my personal package. What I didn't understand is that Fed Ex is an international company and a huge part of their business is international shipping. They have a list that anyone can access that states what the Chinese government has said will be allowed or not allowed to be shipped to people living there. You would think that would be the end of the discussion, if all of your items fit the bill. Not in China!! I still don't fully understand why I had to jump through all the hoops I did. Personally, I feel as though part of it was just the government wanting to mess with an American, which brings me to...

"...the feeling that one is constantly being cheated or lied to."

Yes. Oh my God, yes. If I hear someone say the word "cunning" within the first six months after I return to the US, I will have to fight extremely hard to resist the urge to punch them in the kidneys. 

I get that Americans have the stereotype of being more direct in negotiations and conversations than the Chinese. Or, I thought I did. I really don't think you can prepare yourself for the kind of talking in circles, and sometimes outright lies, that you have to deal with when you get to China. This happened with our diplomas. We were told before coming here that "saving face" is a big deal in China. People would rather lie (be "cunning") than admit that they were wrong, even if everyone involved in the conversation knows they're wrong. The other three foreign teachers here had brought Mr. Dong colored copies of their diploma, so he was under the impression that these were their original copies. The three of us had only brought black and white copies. No one else in the program had any issue with getting their foreign expert permit with their black and white copy, including the other people in Shijiazhuang. Mr. Dong, however, apparently didn't want to "lose face" with the government office by bringing in three "original" diplomas and three photocopies. He decided he wanted all six to be original, and told us that we would have to have our parents ship us our original diplomas. There was no way that was going to happen, and we knew he was lying pretty much from the beginning. 

Our first tactic was the direct route: "Well, Mr. Dong, there are ten other people from Drake in Shijiazhuang and all of them were able to get their permit with their photocopy. Why is it that our school is the only school that can't?"

This was met with, "I will struggle with them. I will ask them why they are being unfair to us." Basically, he tried to make himself out to be the hero. I would just like to point out that, by this time, he actually was already in possession of our foreign expert permits. Like, he was actually holding them in his hand while he was telling us that he still needed our original diplomas. Magically, he was able to get them in time for us to take them to the office where we got our residency permits.

Even after he gave us our residency permits, he still continued to pester us. He told us that we needed our original diplomas sent because he needed to show them to the government so they could "check" that they were real.

Our next tactic was just to ignore him. Every time he would bring it up, we would all just stop talking and stare. That's another thing about China...people really hate feeling awkward. I mean, that's true of people everywhere, but it's especially true here. They will giggle, walk away, try by any means to avoid feeling awkward. The thing about being an American in China, though, is that you feel awkward roughly 99.9% of the time. Trust me, if there's a skill I will have learned by the time I get home, it will be that I can out-awkward pretty much anyone. You can't make me feel more uncomfortable than you; my existence is uncomfortable. I've come to terms with it. Try me.

This worked pretty well. If we stopped talking about it and just kind of nodded and looked away, he would just trail off and stop asking for our diplomas.

We figured we were successful, because we hadn't heard from him in a while. Until a few weeks ago, when some sort of inspectors came to our school. I'm pretty sure that their job is just to come, make sure the school has permits for us, and then they give the school this paper certificate that says they're an "International School". Mr. Dong had us give him our foreign expert permits to show the inspectors. No big deal. Then, he asked for our original diplomas to be shipped again. 

We were prepared. If he was going to lie to us, I was going to lie right back. "Oh, Mr. Dong, I'm so sorry. Our parents cannot send the original diploma. You see, our university only gives each person one original diploma, and our parents have already framed it so it cannot be taken out and sent. In order to get another original diploma with the school's seal on it, they would need a letter from the middle school and $50 per diploma to be able to send it."

BOOM!

We haven't heard about the diplomas since.

The downside, of course, is that I feel terrible about it. I mean, it's been drilled into me since I was a kid that this kind of outright lie is bad. You don't do it. I don't think I'll ever like the kind of verbal dancing that occurs here just to get something simple done. We've all known since roughly September 1st that we didn't need to have original diplomas. Mr. Dong knew it, we knew it, and he knew that we knew it. So why did we waste so much time talking about it?

"You will find that you severely dislike the culture and will experience intermittent feelings of anxiety and depression characterized by a demonstration of animosity, a short-temper, a strong sense of "being stuck," and a frequent tendency to criticize and mock the people and their culture."

Also very true. I already have a very short-temper (what up, being Irish and Italian?), but I can definitely see times in China where it's been worse. For example, the time I lost it on the customs agent. Was it really necessary for me to tell him that his government was, "the most inefficient system I could possibly think of"? No, not at all. In fact, my entire conversation with him was the definition of being culturally insensitive. I think it served a purpose, though. I got all of my rage out. While I still experience moments of anger and annoyance at similar situations, I also realize that I successfully got through it. I received my package. Was it timely? Hell no. Was it the way it would have happened in America? No, not at all. But did it turn out alright? Yes. That's the most important part.

For the last part of stage two,

"In fact, the psychosocial adjustment required of Westerners is so enormous, it is estimated that up to 50 percent of all new expats eventually leave China earlier than planned."

FIFTY percent? Holy cow. I was truly surprised by this number, but then again, I'm facing less than a full year here. Maybe if I had signed on for a two or five year contract, I'd be one of those 50% as well. I guess I'll never know. It really does speak volumes about the Drake program, though, that it's been successful for so many years. Yes, people have gone home early in past years, people will go home early this year, and people will go home early in the future. But so many more people stay. I'll get to that in a little bit, but I personally believe that most of the credit here goes not to us, but to Kirk. Not only do we all know that we can turn to him if there is truly a problem at our schools that we can't solve, but he tries his best to place us together or close to others so we don't feel alienated.

3. Adjustment stage

"For those who have managed to develop a sufficient social support system, stage 2 will eventually segue into an adjustment period during which time the individual begins to feel more settled-in and confident as life becomes considerably more routine and predictable, which often tends to coincide with the acquisition of some Chinese language skills and the ability to minimally communicate around basic needs without assistance. The individual will feel far less isolated, and will regain his or her sense of humor. I still remember the enormous sense of satisfaction and comfort I derived the very first time I was able to verbally instruct the taxi driver where I wanted to be taken in Chinese."

I feel like I'm straddling the line between stages two and three. In the time I'm in China, I'll never feel fully adjusted or comfortable. I didn't really expect to. I'm an American down to my bones, for better or worse. I'll also never be fluent in Chinese. At best, I'll know enough to get myself around. I love learning languages. I'm definitely not a whiz at learning new languages, but I'm pretty good. That doesn't seem to be the case with Chinese. I know a few words and phrases, and can tell taxi drivers how to get me to my school or some of the places I go often..but no matter how hard I try, the words still sound like disconnected noises instead of words.

What has gotten me to feel as though I'm straddling the line between stages two and three is that Lauren, Emily, and I are able to find so much humor in all the crap we have to deal with daily. We complain to each other, sure, but in the end, we try to find the humor in most of it. That makes it so much easier to cope with Mr. Dong or Fed Ex or whatnot; instead of releasing our anger on them, we come home and make it funny.

4. Assimilation

"After a period of time of living in the country, one begins to realize that he or she now feels "at home" in China. What used to drive you crazy in the beginning now seems mundane or insignificant (or will simply be unattended to), and you will actually start identifying several characteristics or features of the culture that you genuinely prefer to your own. In addition, you will notice that you have gradually incorporated (assimilated) several traits or behaviors from the new culture, such that if you were to return to your native country, you would in fact experience something of a reverse culture shock."

Okay, I'll probably never be assimilated into Chinese culture. That's fine. I do feel as though my apartment is "home", but more in the sense of this is my place of residence for the time being, not my true home.

To wrap up, I'm going to talk about what I thought was the most important part of the article: coping strategies. 

"You can increase the likelihood of adjusting more quickly and easily by trying to establish a social support system as soon as possible (preferably during the honeymoon period). Seek out other foreign teachers you have something in common with and use them as a "sounding board" during the rough periods. In addition, and this is especially important, try to establish at least one friendship with an English-speaking Chinese colleague. Having an "insider" on your side who can be there for you to interpret, explain, and even negotiate some of the more frustrating differences you are struggling with will go a very long way in easing your transition. In short, you need a support group. The very last thing you should do is withdraw and isolate yourself from other people, even though this is most likely what you will feel like doing."

My experience in China would be so different if I didn't have Emily and Lauren to be able to spend time with and vent to. The boys and Iraise are also a big help in just having people here that I can relate to and who experience the same feelings and problems as I do. 

It also helps a lot to be able to talk to people back home, pretty much whenever I want - save for the few times that the internet has been out. (And I felt as though my life was crashing down, haha...) I don't know what I would do if I had to rely on snail mail only; I probably wouldn't make it.

The last piece of the support system puzzle is knowing that we have Kirk there if we have any problems. I think this helps me sort out what issues are real and what are just me being spoiled. I ask myself, "Is this a real issue that I need to ask Kirk to take care of because I can't myself, or am I just annoyed because this isn't the level of western comfort I'm used to?" See: internet issues.

All in all, it's been three months! Some days it feels as though I just got here; some days it feels as though I can't believe I still have until the end of June. I think having countdowns to certain events help me greatly, though. Blondie's here in one month (yay!) and my parents are here in two! Surprisingly, that helps the time go even faster. 

This article really helped me, because it showed me that I'm kind of on-track. At least, my feelings are normal.

WIPEOUT!

Last Wednesday, I had my first 15 minutes of fame... on a Chinese game show.

If you've ever watched SpikeTV and seen those embarrassing shows where people go on obstacle courses over water and pretty much everyone falls off, I'm sure you've wondered, "What in the world possesses people to agree to be on that show?!"

I'm here to tell you.

It was quite easy, really. Aaron called me and said that his friend who works for a TV show needed two foreigners to be on an episode of a show that is similar to Wipeout! and asked if I wanted to do it with him. Being my natural adventurous and adrenaline-rush seeking self, I quickly agreed. Lauren and Emily were asked by Mr. Dong the same day if they wanted to tape an all-foreigners episode the day before I would tape mine. We were in it together.

We're in China, right? Why not?

All I knew going into the show was that I would be on an obstacle course over water, and my objective was to get to the end, even if I fell off. They wanted us to wear bathing suits, which, quite frankly, wasn't going to happen on TV.

I met Aaron and Sarah, who had come along to take pictures, at the TV station a little before 12:30 that Wednesday. We were told that someone would come meet us out front at that time and show us to the bus we'd be taking to the studio. The place where they filmed the show was about an hour and a half outside Shijiazhuang. We stood outside until 1 PM, and no one had come to get us. Aaron called his friend multiple times, and he said that someone was coming. Finally, at 1 PM, we walked over to a bus that had been sitting outside, wondering if that was it. We had previously decided that it couldn't be, because it was full, and no one had bothered to come over and ask us if we were the foreigners doing the show. We were wrong. It was our bus. They had just all been watching us for the last half hour, instead of telling us where to go. Typical.

We got on the bus and headed out for the studio. The place we filmed was pretty neat. It was a spa resort. By American standards, it was kind of cheap-looking. By Shiz standards, though, it was one of the nicest places I've seen since arriving in China. So, hey.

Aaron and I had put together little speeches in Chinese - our name, age, where we're from, what we're doing here, how long we've been in China, etc. We were informed upon arrival that we didn't need to know how to say that. Instead, they taught Aaron how to say something along the lines of Congratulations for winning, and taught me how to say, "I want 1000 kuai!!" Those were the lines we were supposed to tell the game show hosts before it was our turn to do the obstacle.

At the beginning of the show, we were all crowded together for the opening shot. There were the hosts, the weird tiger mascot, a row of girls in referee-type cheerleading costumes, and all the participants. Naturally, Aaron and I were shoved to the front. We were clearly the main attraction.

As the first participant headed toward the obstacle course, Aaron and I were positioned right next to the hosts, and instructed, "Dance! Cheer! Yell! WOO HOO!"

While the first four or five people attempted the obstacle course, one of the camera men was instructed to keep his camera on the two of us AT ALL TIMES. We danced, we sang, we "Woo hoo'ed!" We had the camera zoom in on our faces while we cheered, we counted down with the game show hosts, "Yi, er, san, si, wu!"

Finally, it was our time to go. We were asked our names and responded in Chinese. Where we were from, "MEI GUO!" (America). We said our little script, and then Aaron headed toward the obstacle course. I had to stand in between the hosts, clasping hands with the girl, as the camera watched me watching Aaron. I was supposed to gasp and scream and cheer at all the right times.

Here's how the obstacle course went down:

First, we started on a foam block to the side of the pool. A man dressed as Superman instructed us how to hold our arms, as we had to pose like Superman while spinning in a circle five times. Next, we had to somersault across a foam balance beam to the edge of the pool. After regaining our balance, we had to run and jump across four floating blocks, landing on the anchored fifth. The blocks were huge, tied together, and balancing only on water. I think only two people actually made it across without falling. After making it to the platform, we had to climb up a big, white iceberg-shaped blow up thing. The side was like a rock wall, but it was on a tall object floating in the water. Because it was China, some of the places where you were supposed to put your feet had broken off, so there was a rope running up the side that you could pull yourself up on as well. Once you reached the top, you could either jump or climb down. There was a massive water trampoline that you landed on. Hanging above the trampoline was a banner that you had to jump up and grab. Standing in your way, however, were two people dressed as superheroes who jumped at you, grabbed you, and generally tried to block you from getting the banner. Once you were successful, you had to bail out over the side of the trampoline into a waiting boat, pull yourself to the edge of the pool by the rope, and get out. Then, there was an incline with a rope that you climbed up to reach the platform. They asked a question in Chinese. If you answered correctly, you got 1000 kuai. If you answered incorrectly, they pushed you over the edge back into the pool.

Males had 120 seconds to complete the course; females had 150.

I started off my chance at the obstacle course facing the wrong way. Apparently, I was supposed to stare directly into the camera as I was spinning. Remember, the foreigners were the highlight of this show. I spun and somersaulted, and landed on the platform. I was surprised at how dizzy I felt. You don't think that only  5 spins and 2 somersaults are going to make you that off balance. I put my arms out, balanced myself, and took off at a run across the blocks. I felt pretty good about making it, until I got to the third block. My foot landed off to the side, instead of in the middle. I felt the block start to shift to the right, and thought I could regain my balance. Nope. BAM! Fell off backwards into the water. There were also men in the water filming us, so as I came back up from underwater, there was a camera directly in my face. I laughed and swam toward the platform for the iceberg/rock wall. I love rock walls, but this one was difficult to climb because of the missing places for your feet and hands to go. (They were just broken off, it wasn't designed that way). As I got to the top, someone started playing the Spice Girls. Of course, I had to take a moment to thrust my arms in the air and sing the chorus. Music in English! Then, I jumped down and landed on the side of the trampoline. Again, it's harder than you expect to jump and reach a banner when there are two other people on the trampoline jumping around and trying to make you lose your balance. After grabbing the banner, I launched myself off the trampoline, face-first, into the boat. I have no idea why I went face first instead of just jumping in, but rest assured that Sarah got an amazingly hilarious picture of it. I got to the edge of the pool and pulled myself up to the platform. They asked me a question, I answered, "YES!" enthusiastically, because, really, I had no idea what the question was. The buzzer sounded; I was wrong. Then, I was shoved back into the pool over the edge of the platform.

After I got back out of the pool, I was directed back to the crowd behind the announcers to watch the last two participants of the obstacle course. At the end of the show, there was this weird little outro bit where the cameramen just wanted shots of all of us doing things. This old man started doing this bizarre little dance, and before we knew it, Aaron and I were shoved up next to him, having a dance-off to a Ke$ha song.

I can officially say I've lived; I'm on Chinese TV having a dance off to Ke$ha's "Blow".

Pictures to come soon!